Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
