can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
