in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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