Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
