Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm always down for nudity.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
