i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We need to rekindle our bromance
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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