it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
