I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My ass is underappreciated
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
