Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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