Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
