Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize