he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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