I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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