OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
