i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
