Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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