I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
