so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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