Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
