p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
