you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
