I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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