I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
