Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
