Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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