I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
