C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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