I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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