Plan B is the new Plan A
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
