i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
