Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
