your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So drunk its hurt
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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