And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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