He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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