can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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