Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
