I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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