So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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