On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
