By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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