My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
