i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
