Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
