dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
