My friends, they love my intelligence
kristin has been a bad kristin
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
