I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
