Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
