What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I believe in your delicious
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
