I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
