he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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