i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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