I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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