i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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