and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
