Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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