I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
