I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
