Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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