Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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